Category: Uncategorized

Improve Your Self-Confidence – Ignore Unreliable Data

Melody

How can you improve your self-confidence at work? How do you ignore the negative voice inside? More importantly, is that negative voice even telling the truth?

Imagine are working on the development a product for your organisation. To get the product right you surveyed a number of stakeholders to better understand what it was they wanted. Out of one hundred stakeholders, ninety nine said widgets that blue were very important to them and only one stakeholder said they wanted pink widgets. What would you do with this data? Would you make blue widgets and pink widgets? OR would you decide that the one stakeholder who wanted pink was an anomaly and maybe not your ideal client?

What if you ran an event and sought feedback afterwards. Out of 100 hundred responses, only one stakeholder said it was terrible and ninety-nine said it was great. Would you think that maybe the one stakeholder was having a bad day? Would you think maybe the event wasn’t for them? OR would your change your event to meet their every need?

In most cases we treat a single piece of adverse or conflicting feedback as an anomaly. Statistically, we would be likely to ignore that piece of data. Financially, we would probably decide it wasn’t worth meeting the needs of this outlier.

In my coaching practice I notice that people often rate their skills in a particular area as low even when everyone else says they are high. This is really obvious when the participant is part of a 360 feedback exercise; the feedback from their peers, subordinates and manager clearly shows that their self-rating is an anomaly. It could even be considered unreliable data. They need to working on improving their self-confidence.

Are you good at assessing your skills in your work context?

Well are you? Here some questions to ask yourself to find out:

  • What does your manager say about you in regards to this skill? This might be directly or through perfomance discussion.
  • What do you staff say? Are they producing good work?
  • What do your colleagues say? Do they enjoy working with you?
  • What do other stakeholders say?
  • Have you been recently promoted or chosen for acting opportunites?
  • Have you recently been chosen to do other work or projects?
  • Do you feel you are achieving results in this area?

If the answer to most of these is positive, yet you assess your skills as low – you might not be a source of reliable data. It might be that you lack self-confidence.

Problems can then arise when your lack of self-confidence impacts how you behave at work. But can you improve your self-confidence at work?

What can I improve my self-confidence? (I’ve never been confident!!)

How can you improve your self-confidence at work?

Firstly, acknowledging that you are harder on yourself than others are is a great first step. Secondly, reminding yourself that logic suggests that what you are saying/thinking/feeling can’t be true because it conflicts with what everyone else is saying. These two things can help to quieten those negative voices inside.

Thirdly, recognise when you feel more confident and try to create more of these situations at work. (Remember that for some people these times when you feel confident might be outside of the work context but they are still useful!) Some people feel more confident about their skills when they are well prepared and consider they have a good undersand of the topic involved. Others say it is about focussing on the outcome that will be achieved – helping customers or support staff for example.

The ability to accurately assess your skills and to be confident in doing your work, is an important competency to cultivate as a leader. Don’t let your unreliable data let you down!

Sunrise over the ocean in north Queensland

NOTE: If a lack of self-confidence is really affecting your life either at work or home, you may need to seek additional support from a medical professional.

Black Lives Matter

Melody

It’s that simple. I support that statement unequivocally.

Black lives matter.

What does this have to do with leadership? Good leaders (and good humans) support the belief that black lives matter. Good leaders are anti-racist. Good leaders recognise that racism exists and works against people in the workplace.

racism/ˈreɪsɪz(ə)m noun

  • prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one’s own race is superior.

anti-racism/antɪˈreɪsɪz(ə)m/noun

  • the policy or practice of opposing racism and promoting racial tolerance.

Good leaders use ALL resources available to them to get the best outcomes. Research shows that a diverse team is a more successful team. That makes sense when you think about it. Diverse teams have more diverse and better solutions. Diverse teams understand the diverse needs of all stakeholders.

If you haven’t already as a leader – you should think about your approach to diversity, bias and racism.

Not sure if you are racially biased? It’s possible to be very biased and not realise it. This test allows you to assess your unconscious bias.

Great leaders understand their weak areas and work on them. They see when they are part of the problem. THEY SEE WHEN THEY ARE BENEFITING FROM THE PROBLEM. They move beyond feeling personally attacked and work on the issue.

Are you a great leader?

Once again. In case you didn’t hear it up the back.

Black lives matter.

The end.

Are You Ready to Reset?

Melody

It’s time to think about planning and leadership for the new normal.

But what is the new normal? The NEW normal is where we are heading now that some things about this pandemic are known and now that countries around the world are moving out of lock down.

We are, as a world, moving on but there are still a lot of unknowns and lot of changes. Changes and unknowns often equal worry, anxiety and fear. This is compounded by unknown time frames.

These feelings are often about a perceived loss of control. Again you can’t control your life in the way you were used to. And a lot of this impacts on work.

So while you might be getting back to work, its going to be a different work to what it was 6 months ago.

Returning to Work in a Pandemic - FEARS

Leading in this time is about understanding and being aware of all of these issues and supporting your staff through this difficult time.

So to make sure we can lead and support others you first need to look after yourself.

Developing a Plan

Have you developed a plan to move back to the new normal? Now is the time to plan and now is the time to reset. As we move from one stage to another in these crazy times it helps if we feel like we have some options.

Firstly you need to know that we always have options. You need to understand that and you need to support your staff and colleagues to understand that. If you don’t feel you have any options or any control read this article about Circles of Control.

Secondly, you need to work out what is changing and how you are going to respond to and manage those changes. This will be your plan. Depending on your role, your plan to return to the new normal may include answers to some of the following questions:

  • Who are my clients/stakeholders now? How are they impacted by their new normal? How can I support them?
  • What changes need to be made in the workplace at a corporate and team level? How will these impact my staff and colleagues?
  • What changes do I need make at an individual level in how I work? How will I make these changes?
  • How do I get the support I need to continue to succeed in my role? What support is needed?
  • How do I ensure I stay healthy including my mental health? How do I ensure my staff and colleagues remain healthy?

Once you have some of these answers you can move to supporting others in your organisation.

A coach can help you to plan how to return to the new normal. For more information on coaching please contact me.

Its time to start planning for your leadership for the new normal.

Are you ready to reset?

Leaders reflect 2019

What Did You Learn as a Leader in 2019?

Melody

January is more than half over – 2020 has really started! Most people are back at work. Kids are nearly ready to return to school.

As a leader, and an individual, now is a good time to look back on the last twelve months and reflect on the following question: What did I learn in 2019?

It is important to take time to look back and reflect on what went well and what, maybe, did not. Doing this allows you to start out the new year in the best possible way. It also allows you keep building your leadership toolkit.

Questions to Think About

I strongly recommend that everyone who wants to improve their leadership skills in 2020 (and grow as a person) should ask themselves the following questions:

  1. What am I proud of from 2019?
  2. What do I wish I had done better?
  3. What is the most important thing I learned in 2019 about myself?
  4. How can I apply these learnings in 2020 to become a better leader?

Watch Out for the Easy Answers!

If you tend to avoid uncomfortable things you might gloss over the important details and pretend everything is fine and that 2019 was the perfect year. If you tend to have very high expectations of yourself you might be prone to beating yourself up and exaggerating what went wrong in 2019. To remove your bias and to get a different point of view you might like to ask your supervisor or a colleague to also answer the questions above about you. Their answers may surprise you.

And What’s Next?

Take what you have learned about yourself from 2019 and apply it to the new year. Where might things be difficult for you? What behaviour do you need to watch out for so that you don’t repeat the same mistakes? How can you repeat the successes of 2019?

It’s only once you do this that you can be really ready to plan a for the best 2020 – a successful year as a leader!

What did you learn in 2019?

Melody

PS: Coaching can help you to learn from your past successes and failure and use these learnings to improve your skills as leader. Please contact me for more information.

Happy New Year

Melody

I’m a long way from Townsville and Australia this New Year but I’m still thinking about leadership, change and growth.

We live in difficult times. You only have to read the news to see change is upon us. And that some change is going to be difficult. It’s going to require us to grow as leaders – both in our work and personal lives.

I’ve written about my focus on change this year here.

Good leadership is about managing change in yourself as well as supporting others to change and grow. Sometimes that can be a challenge when the change is difficult and the outcomes are unknown. This is when fear can take control.

Learning about how you respond to change and making conscious decisions manage your response is the first step in great leadership. Only then can you support others.

To learn more about how to manage change in 2020 contact me for a coaching session.

Leadership and Looking After You

Melody

Good leaders understand the importance of looking after the people they lead. Great leaders understand the importance of looking after themselves. Leadership is about looking after you as much as it is about looking after others.

In our busy lives its easy to forget to spend time focusing on your needs. Mainstream society tells men to ‘harden up’ and work to the death. And women don’t get it any easier – women in today’s society often have so many caring responsibilities and are taught to put themselves last, that they often never get the time to look after themselves.

Why?

Why is it important to look after yourself? Its the story that you have probably hear before. On an airplane you are instructed, in the event of an emergency, to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. This includes children and those who cannot help themselves. The message is very clear, you are no use to others if you cannot breathe yourself!

Of course it’s the same in the workplace. While you might not be literally struggling for breath, when you are leading and not looking after yourself, you become stressed. Your leadership is less effective, you are more prone to mistakes and you are less supportive of others. Small problems become big when you operate from place of high stress! And eventually you become sick (or worse)and can’t lead in the workplace at all. Looking after you is one of the most important parts of leadership.

A few years ago I was working in a stressful environment, leading a small under-resourced team where conflict with other key stakeholders was frequent. I started to feel like punching people in the head might be a viable answer to some of my daily issues! This gave me pause to think and I decided I needed to get out of the office. I scheduled a run at least three times a week over lunch. It wasn’t a long run or a fast run but the effective on my well-being was instantaneous!

Are you too busy at lunch time? That’s probably a sign that you really need to get out.

How do I look after myself?

You don’t like running? There are a number of alternatives to improve your well being by taking a break:

  • Swimming (indoor pools make this easy all year round)
  • Yoga
  • Craft
  • A gentle walk
  • Spending time in nature (this can even just be a small park)
  • Eating outside – alone and without your work phone
  • Look out the window for 10 minutes
  • Drink (and savour) a cup of tea
  • Meditation (there are many many apps available)
  • Doing something you enjoy that is just for you
  • Reading a (trashy) book or magazine
  • Deep breathing

That last one might make your skeptical. How can deep breathing be looking after myself? Deep and focused breathing for even just a few minutes every day has been shown to have proven health benefits.

This article from Harvard shows how you can use breathing to reduce stress.

Looking after you in Townsville

Anything that make you slow down, reflect and focus on you can help to reduce stress and make you a better leader.

Are you still telling me you don’t have time in your leadership journey to look after you or to take time out from your busy stressful day to relax and refocus? Use niche time. Run or walk to and from work. Schedule short breaks in your diary – something is better than nothing. Exercise with a friend who will keep you going. Encourage your staff to take time for themselves and model the behaviour!

Coaching can be another way to reflect and focus on you. Coaching can also help you to work out how to fit ‘me time’ into your busy life. Contact me for more information on setting up a coaching session.

Focus on yourself.

Refresh. Rejuvenate. Reflect.

In leadership looking after you is paramount.

Only then can you operate to your full potential.

Act With Intent

Melody

Why act with intent?

Babies and small children have instant reactions when things affect them. They cry if they are upset, they laugh when things make them happy.

Hopefully, as more mature humans, we no longer react when presented with certain situations in the workplace. Or do we?

We are conditioned to behave a certain way from birth. How we behave depends on how we have been brought up by our parents or other caregivers. It depends on the experiences we have in our lives and the culture we experience growing up. We do make decisions that change these behaviours as we get additional input – from school, friends, society in general, the media and the workplace but many remain in place our whole lives.

Default behaviours

And although we no longer simply react to every situation like a small child (luckily!) we do react in ways that are based on these set behaviours. You could call these things our default behaviours. Default behaviours are the things that you might talk about by saying “Oh yeah, that’s just me.”

Some examples:

  • Louise is always early. Her parents were always early. She was taught growing up that being late was rude. When her staff do not turn up to meetings on time, Louise is unhappy. This causes her to yell at her staff during one staff meeting.
  • Harry likes to talk through problems. He has always done this. He often discusses work issues in the team area. This drives Kim crazy as they prefer to reflect on any problems in quiet. Harry doesn’t even realise that he is annoying Kim.

Both of these examples show people following their default behaviours. Perhaps they haven’t considered them or perhaps they are reacting rather than acting with intent.

People also have unconscious bias that affects the decision we make every day. What’s unconscious bias? The Australian National University defines Unconscious Bias as “the associations and automatic assumptions, negative or positive, that everyone makes about other people or groups of people based on cultural stereotypes, rather than careful considerations.

If you don’t think you have unconscious bias – consider undertaking the Harvard test…I think you will find you do!

What does all of this mean for you in the workplace? And how can you act with intent? Recognising that you have default behaviours is the first step! If you find yourself saying “Oh that’s just me!” stop and think about the behaviour. Work preference tests can also help here. Or talk to a trusted but honest friend. Strive to become self-aware!

Once you understand what your defaults are you can choose whether to use them or not. You can really act with intent.

Louise makes the most of being early to meetings by catch up on emails on her mobile device. Louise encourages staff to come to meetings on time by starting on time but tries not to yell about it.

Harry knows he has a tendency to talk through issues. So he often goes for coffee with Sam when he has a tricky work problem that he needs to talk through. Sometimes they even brainstorm ideas in the meeting room. Harry makes an effort not to talk all day at his desk.

Acting with intent – choosing your behaviour to best serve you and the situation.

And what about unconscious bias? What can you do about stuff you might not even know is happening? Accepting you have biases is a big step. Then introducing processes that check decisions can help. For more information see this article by the Australian Public Service Commission.

Act with intent

Coaching can help you to understand your default behaviours and encourage you to acknowledge your biases. It can ensure that you act with intent in the workplace – giving the best of yourself to get the best result. If you would like to talk about acting with intent in the workplace contact me.